Times

I remember you at the strangest of times…your laugh…your smile…jokes for which you forgot the punchline…the times we’ve shared…the tears we’ve cried…the awkward hello’s and tear-stained goodbyes…seasons of transition…recovery from lies…emotional reconciliations and giggle-filled highs…talking for hours- reliving the past…stretching each moment to make it all last…Yes, I think of you at the strangest of times…how Love has been patient and God has been kind.

 

Late That Night

Love left late last night on a train

The lonely sound of that whistle echoes through my brain

Calling out to memories of days gone by…days that should have died in my heart…in my mind…in my soul of souls- never to be recalled again…

Love left late that night on a train- tears filtered through clenched lashes in no way eased the pain…clutched pillows and silent sobs did nothing but torture my soul. 

Later, I would learn that it was up to me to choose the toll. 

What price I pay is up to me.

Which prayer I pray is up to me.

Smile or cry, it’s up to me.

Live or die, it’s up to me.

Ignorance of the truth could no longer hide in me.

The most powerful force in existence resides in me.

The lamp of Love burns bright in me.

I’ll no longer focus on what’s wrong, but right in me.

I’ll be all that I am, now Love’s guiding me.

I have the Love that created all eternity.

Yes, Love left late that night on a train…although my journey’s just begun, I am home again.

 

Retreat 2000

As I sit by the Oceanside, the dark sea raging, I marvel at the beauty of it all…The moon You created lights a golden path across the dark, ever-restless sea…A path that seems to begin with me and ends in a place I cannot see…if, in truth, it ends at all.

All at once, I am fulfilled by my relationship with the One who created it all…The One who designed this moment…and our meeting…at this place…by the sea.

 

December Afternoon

December Afternoon

Strolling the beach, searching for shells, thinking of those whom I’ve loved and appreciated in my life…I look up at a wide sky.

The right half of the pale moon peeks out at me with one eye- the rest of it hidden and lost behind a vast curtain of blue– mid-evening blue.

Strolling a little further, the cool ocean breeze hits the right side of my face as I walk the beach pondering these surroundings and how much they differ from my surroundings of the former year.  The other side of my body feels the welcome warmth of the December sun—such a contrast to the first side, yet both appealing and with their own merits.

Instantly, I know that I appreciate them both.  Without one, I could not fully appreciate the other.

I take time to sit on a rock and soak it all in.

There, beneath the December sun, I bask in the knowledge of a great love,

a great romance,

a great union that will never end and that will never have a final fling;

that will never have its last curtain call.

This evening, I wrap myself in the comfort and coziness of our relationship.  This evening, I bask in the love of my Lord.

 

Diagonal Rain

Diagonal was the rain on that cool spring night…rain the kind I hated to see…dreaded to feel… yet loved to hear on the tin roof of that old shack…lost in the woods yet never so found and quite so free again for years to come I would never remember to forget… the sound… of diagonal rain.

 

Perception

Perception – (1)obs: CONSCIOUSNESS (2)a: a result of perceiving: OBSERVATION b: a mental image: CONCEPT (3)a: awareness of the elements of environment through physical sensation b: physical sensation interpreted in the light of experience (4)a: quick, acute, and intuitive cognition: APPRECIATION

b: a capacity for comprehension

syn see DISCERNMENT

PERCEPTION

IT’S A DARK NIGHT ON THIS SIDE OF THE OCEAN, I’VE MADE MY WAY THROUGH THE SEMI-DARKNSS TO THE BEACH. THE LIGHT OF THE MOON IS HIDDEN BEHIND OMINOUSLY FOREBODING CLOUDS. I CONTINUE THROUGH THE SHADOWED SAND SEARCHING FOR A PLACE. SURELY, I’LL KNOW IT WHEN I FIND IT. PURPOSEFULLY, I PROCEED THROUGH THE TWILIGHT. I WIND MY WAY AROUND SOME ROCKS, MY EYES WATCHING MY FEET ALL THE WHILE- WARNING THEM TO STEP CAREFULLY. I STOP AND LIFT MY HEAD TO APPRECIATE THE EXPERIENCE. STRAIGHT AHEAD OF ME I SEE LAYERS UPON LAYERS OF WHITE CLOUDS CRASHING IN THE DARKNESS. I STAND STILL; YET, THERE IS MOVEMENT ALL AROUND ME. THE WIND SEEMS TO BE DANCING WITH MY CLOTHING…MY HAIR…THE SMELL OF THE SEA SURROUNDS ME. I BREATHE DEEPLY TAKING IT IN, HOPING THAT SOMEHOW, WHEN I EXHALE, MY CONCERNS WILL GO WITH THE BREATH THAT HAS HAD ITS TURN IN MY BODY. I WAIT, REALIZING NOTHING HAS CHANGED. THE CRASH OF THE WAVES IS THUNDEROUS. IT ALMOST SEEMS TO BLOCK OUT THE NOISE OF MY LIFE…THE UNPLEASANT… NOISE… OF… MY LIFE. I STAND STILL FEELING THE COOL OCEAN BREEZE ON MY FACE, ENJOYING THE EXPERIENCE IN SPITE OF WHAT’S BROUGHT ME HERE. I STAND STILL IN THE TWILIGHT…WIND DANCING THROUGH MY CLOTHES AND HAIR, THE SALT-SEA SMELL ALL AROUND ME, THE SOUND OF WAVES ROARING IN MY EARS, WITH THE ROUGH WHITE FOAM COMING STRAIGHT TOWARDS ME! I AM FILLED WITH CONCERN. I WONDER WHICH WAY I SHOULD TURN. IN THE DARKNESS, I SCAN THE BEACH TO MY LEFT. THERE IS NO HELP. IT’S GETTING DARK AND IN THE DISTANCE IT APPEARS TO BE A FOGGY NIGHT. I QUICKLY LOOK TO MY RIGHT. I AM GREETED BY THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCE. I LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD. THE ROARING, CRASHING, WAVES SEEM AN ALMOST UNNATURAL WHITE AS THEY CONTINUE TO MAKE THEIR WAY TOWARD ME, THREATENING TO OVERTAKE ME AND CARRY ME OUT TO SEA WHERE I’LL BE AT THEIR MERCY…KNOWING THAT THEY HAVE NO MERCY…NO, I WILL GO NO FURTHER. I STAND, CONSIDERING MY OPTIONS, FILLED WITH MY CONCERN. PERHAPS, I SHOULD CONSIDER TURNING BACK THE WAY I CAME…NO! THAT IS NOT AN OPTION. TURMOIL AND TORTURE AND TIRADES DROVE ME HERE. I WILL NOT GO BACK THE SAME WAY I CAME. I REALIZE I AM AT THE END OF MY OPTIONS. TO GO BACK IS MORE OF THE SAME; TO GO BACK IS CERTAIN DEATH. TO MY LEFT OR RIGHT, IT IS SO HAZY AND UNCLEAR AND I CANNOT SEE…I CANNOT SEE …STRAIGHT AHEAD AND I’M IN THE GRASP OF UNCONTROLLABLE FORCES THAT WILL SHOW ME NO MERCY. IF I TRAVEL THE WAY I CAME, I WILL SURELY DIE. THERE’S MORE THAN ONE WAY TO DIE IN THIS WORLD…THERE’S MORE THAN ONE WAY TO DIE…YET, I CAME HERE BECAUSE I LONG TO LIVE. I LONG TO LIVE AND TO THRIVE. SO HERE I STAND AT THE END OF MY OPTIONS…THERE’S ONE WAY I HAVEN’T TRIED. Slowly, I lift up my head as my heart starts to listen to a quiet still voice from inside. In my spirit, I begin to petition my Holy Father on High. I ask for the wisdom and courage I’ll need to confront what I must…on this walk…through this world…called my life. A few moments longer, a few whispered words in truth and humility and I leave the beach with the assurance of peace, wiping tears that had flooded my eyes.

The world seems changed…Yet, I can’t see change! Surely, it’s something inside. The quiet still voice responds to my thoughts and suddenly I realize, it’s not what I see, but how I see that’s brought such a change to my life. Suddenly, my perception has changed since I’ve believed on my Lord Jesus Christ.

 

Great Faith

They say, “A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush.”

Not when you have faith- faith in God that is!

Real wisdom is knowing that faith in God supercedes any man-made advice or theory.

What is faith?

Faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen.

Faith is what keeps you holding on when everyone and everything

around you seems to be telling you, “No.”- when you know God has already told you, “Yes!”

Faith is to be exercised. You see, the more it’s exercised, the more it increases.

This is what you’ll need to draw from in your worst moments.

Faith is what you’ll need to act on in your darkest moments.

Faith is what motivates, activates, liberates, and consecrates our lives.

Without faith, our personal relationship with God is dead.

So what will you do with your life?

When it’s all said and done, will they say you were a great man?

Or, perhaps, they will say, “He was a man whose actions, day by day,

brought him a little closer to God….He was a man of great faith!”

 

Home

In your arms, I’ve found the place I’ve yearned for.

All my life I’ve longed for more.

I longed for a place where my soul would soar

with someone I could trust with my life.

Jesus, keep me in your arms.

It’s the place I’ve desired.

All my life I searched for something, living through lies and cracked dreams.

In your arms, I’m freed from searching.

In your arms, I release my past.

Through your eyes, I see myself.

I never knew Love could be so pure.

Love that loves no matter what-

Love without condemnation-

Love that’s free to all of us-

Love that’s here for the taking-

Love now lives inside of me.

I am a new creation.

Lord, in your arms, I’ve found myself.

In your arms, You revealed the truth of Love.

In your embrace, my soul found what my spirit must have known all along.

One day, I found myself in your arms.

One day, in your arms, I found home.