This one is a response I wrote to a blogging buddy’s post- 6 Points to the Bottom Line.  She was of the opinion that I should copy my response and paste it on my own blog in order to spread a little encouragement.  I am pleased to do so!  Check out Coni’s post here before you read my response if you’d like.   

Hi Coni!

I just wanted to give you a bit of encouragement while you’re on this job and beyond. It’s lovely to want the people around you to be joyful and to be pleased with a job you’ve performed for them. However, being a people pleaser is a completely different thing ( or at least has a completely different connotation). Being a people pleaser is when your efforts to please others is derived from fear ( of rejection, of the unknown, of change, etc) . People pleasers don’t stand for anything. They are tossed to and fro depending upon the views of those around them. They could agree with your opinion and then turn right around after you’re gone and tell someone with an opinion that seems to be “the opposite” of yours that they agree with their opinion, when all along they really have an opinion that is different from both opinions, only they don’t have enough confidence in themselves or their opinion to state that fact. I find working with people pleasers to be quite frustrating. One reason is, because you can’t count on them to tell you what they really think. They tell you what they think you want to hear. To me, that is never going to be a good relationship whether it is a work relationship, or a personal one, etc.

I have a dear friend who will sometimes say, “I’m not telling you anything else, because I knew you would disagree!” I mean really, what did she want me to do, just “Amen” her like I agreed to everything she was saying when I did not. I won’t do that. If you ask me for my opinion on something (and, sometimes, even if you don’t), get ready to hear my opinion- hopefully rooted and grounded in the Word of God- but not always- just forgive me when it’s not. I’ve got a lot of growing to do as do we all.

God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of love and of power of a strong mind. I think that automatically cuts out being a people pleaser. When I think of Jesus, the thought people pleaser never comes to mind. He had to make a stand no matter what people thought or said or understood or perceived to be true, etc. He didn’t take time to worry about pleasing this one and that one with his words or actions. He let Love do the work. Love will do the work if you’ll let it. But, you’ve got to meditate on it and let it. Then and only then will the fear that thrives to lock one inside themselves and not allow them to give voice to the authentic person God created them to be- dissipate.

Coni, I wouldn’t call you a people pleaser. As you’ve stated above, the bottom line is being a God pleaser. Your heart is focused on the right thing. Now, I think as long as you get your mind, will and emotions, focused on the bottom line you’ll notice quite a change in your attitude and the way you look at jobs like this. No doubt, the actors treating you like this will still be annoying , but it doesn’t have to have the same effect on you internally. You focusing on who you are in Christ is going to make a difference. You know you do great hair…that’s not the problem….you know you could show those actors a thing or two if they would let you…that’s not the problem…the problem is letting what could have been a temporary annoyance, linger and press those buttons of doubt that still remain on the inside. I know cause I’ve been there. However, now I’ve noticed myself reacting differently when these opportunities come up. I remind myself who I am in Christ ( a few years ago, I had to take time out and actually meditate on (thinking on, reading and even confessing) scriptures which told me who I was in Christ- it ministered to me in ways nothing else ever has. I believe the Word of God built me up inside- and made me realize my true worth and value- no matter what- whether the whole gang at work doubts me, my best friend misunderstands me, or my next door neighbor curses me, etc. The bottom line is: I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God… and nothing changes that! Through faith in Christ, I am the righteousness of God…and nothing changes that. All the other stuff is just details and the enemy trying to make me forget who I am and who my “Daddy” is. I am a child of the King. The bottom line is nothing changes that!

Coni, take care and be blessed!

Love ya!